I have no idea what made me start thinking about this book again, when my kids are way past the infant stage. But last night my mind was racing about all the angry thoughts I still hold about the book that made me feel incredibly guilty and sent me into post-partum depression. Yeah, I know it was the hormones and Tyson’s constant evening crying screaming and adjusting to a new baby, but I think the main reason was that all my Christian friends and just about everyone I knew who had had a baby within the previous two years were recommending this book and swearing by its truth and effectiveness. So Tim and I both read it and felt like it was the way we had to parent, in order to be good Christian parents with godly kids. So when I absolutely hated it and every instinct within my body and heart and mind screamed at me to just cuddle with and comfort my baby when he cried (no matter what point in the “schedule” we were at), I felt like a bad mom and a failure. I know it’s my perfectionism and irrational need to be accepted by everyone all the time, and it should not have affected me to the degree that it did, but wow, it still makes me crazy thinking about those few months of my life and it’s been three years since then!

So anyways, blogging has helped me to deal with other issues lately, so I thought I’d do a little technorati search today at naptime and see if anyone else has blogged about babywise. What I found was fascinating and refreshing and comforting! Other people hate babywise too! Even Christians! Hooray! I am justified! I guess the fact that I have amazing, happy, pretty much well-behaved kids that always sleep through the night and have not been raised by babywise parenting is justification enough, of course. But it’s nice to know there are people out there that agree with me. There’s even medical advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics advising against the author’s (Gary Ezzo’s) statements. And a fun blog I found this morning, Tulipgirl, has a week every year dedicated to discussing the babywise controversy, along with lots of posts about it. And this website (www.ezzo.info) would have been wonderful had I known about it three years ago! I’m SO GLAD I threw that book away!! I will never again let a silly book have so much effect on me. And I will continue to pray more and let God be in control of me - not other people, things I read, or my crazy emotions.

In other news, my crazy emotions do continue, but I’m doing better. I feel okay about the church transitions - overwhelmed, but okay. I feel a little guilty for feeling okay and not still mourning the loss of half of my team, but I’m trying not to feel guilty because I know it’s only because God is helping me deal with the changes and giving me hope and peace about the future. And there are some absolutely incredible volunteers stepping up to get us through, which is such a blessing. God is good!